Note to self...

My husband likes to remind me I kinda have a "ask for forgivness rather than permission" attitude a little to often. He is correct and he should be given major props for all he puts up with.

Example:

Husband: (a month or so ago) honey you can't just assume its ok to fly at 33 weeks, you need to call the doctor and make sure. (paraphrased)
Me: no no, its fine. trust me. so and so said it was fine and i read that it was fine and so and so did it at like 32 weeks and they were fine. its fine, really.
Husband: just call and ask.
Me: its fine! book it!
Husband: just ask, please
Me: its fine! just trust me.

THIS WENT ON FOR LIKE A WEEK OR SO.
HUSBAND GAVE IN, BOOKED IT ALL AND THEN TODAY WAS MY 32 WEEK DOCTORS APPT.

Me: so whats the chance its ok for me to fly next week?
Nurse: um not good! doubt the airlines will let you, doubt dr.g will let you but you can ask. (she then told us a story about a lady flying to mexico and giving birth there).

NURSE LEAVES
HUSBAND GIVES ME I TOLD YOU SO AND YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE LOOK AND SAID A FEW THINGS ABOUT ME AND NOT LISTENING, etc.
I LOOK DOWN TRY NOT TO CRY AND START FREAKING OUT IN MY HEAD.

Dr.G: hey...how goes it? how ya feeling, any questions?
Me: yah um can i fly to DC next week?
Dr.G: yah totally. you will be fine, here is a note, here take this prego valium, you have my pager number if you need anything. have a great time! see you in two weeks.(paraphrased)
Me: oh well whew! thanks.

DR.G LEAVES.

Husband: Well, guess you skidded on thru again...

I SMILED.

YAHYAHYAH - I still get to go on the trip!

Love and Blessings,
Brooke

32 weeks! Holy baby bump.

Ok so it's not a bump at all its a huge ball but it's my baby ball. :)

Ok I'm scared...a child is going to come out of me.

Well I have my days. There are the days where I think...they give you drugs, they are professionals, they numb you, they help you the whole time so it can't be that bad, at least not for that long, right? Then I have days where I turn on the TV and I catch the woman giving birth who chose not to do the drugs, or who had such a rapid fast delivery there was no time for the drugs. I go to bed hearing the poor women screaming. Then, I will have a day where I think of all the women before me who have given birth and I think surely if all these people can do it, and some of them mulitiple times, then I can do it too. I try to listen to my husband and freinds who assure me I can do it, it will be fine and it will all be worth it.

Today was a medium day....it was the day where I decided to watch my DVR'd epsisode of Kendra givning birth. Kendra who some of you may or may not know is one of Hef's former girlfriends, who married Hank and they had a baby a few weeks ago. I watch it, sorry if you disagree but it all is entertaining to me. Anyway...the birth of HB4was all captured on TV and I thought it was smart to record and watch. I do a lot of things that aren't smart, this wasn't one of my worst but it got close at one point. To sum up...they enduced her early because the baby was already measuring at least 8 1/2 pounds. After 24 hours of labor and pain they decided to do a C-section. The doctors first few words were "holy cow, look at this head, he's huge, he's a linebacker, oh wow, that's a huge head,etc." OH MYLANTA, why did I watch this? Well mom and baby were fine, I cried, it was all sweet and loving and good and I'm still scared.

There is so much going on between now and when this baby is supposed to come out of me. I am praying that I stay busy and can't focus on what is excpected of me. Giving birth that is...

By the way, the birthing classes and videos and all that jazz, I think it should be edited a tad. They just scare people, me included. I actually think if you just handed me Berkley right now I could do the baby part, but getting her out of me is what I can't comprehend. She is coming out, I get that. I am just not sure how.

Also, please know that I know what a gift it is, having a child, giving birth... I know there are soo many who would take my place and I in no way want to be offensive or seem ungrateful but it is a lil scary when it's actually happening to you and your body for the first time. I want this baby, I want to experience the wonderful gift of birth and being a mom - I just kinda wanna do it with no pain. Like no pain at all. It would also be really appreciated and amazing if she came out quickly, easily, perfectly healthy and with no cords wrapped wrong. Thanks. Please pray for me.

P.S. Did I mention that my husband was a 10lb baby?

Love and blessings.
-brooke

30 almost 31 weeks!

Could I really be having a baby in like 2 1/2 months? Holy cow.

I hope everyone has a great week coming up...wishing you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Love and Blessings,
brooke


P.S. Natalie - if you see this hi! i guess i have been blogstalking you so it never occured to me you wouldn't know i was blogging too. haha. oh well. i love reading about your boys, you crack me up! they are so precious and i hope to see you sometime soon! toys r' us parking lots via a car window (me yelling at you) doesn't count.

Honesty...is it always the best policy?

I was inspired by a lil' comment a friend of mine made. To summarize she was challenging and wondering why so many blog or facebook and only say the 'good' things, or the 'happy' things. Now I realize many of you post funny stuff about your kids making a mess, or about a bad day and so forth...but do any of us really ask the hard questions or talk about a day of true struggle? I know there are some, but let's face it, no matter how great your relationship with the Lord is, with your spouse, with your family or whomever, we are ALL human. God made us in his image but we are nor never will be perfect and I think it's ok to share that. God gave us family and friends to commune and relate with, so let's do it!

So my question or comment today is...is honesty always the best policy? Do you ever find yourself lying or not telling the whole truth because in your mind it is protecting someone or something. Is it really protecting them, or is it protecting you?

For instance, in friendship...when you are asked a question, even a simple one like
"How do I look?" do you tell the truth, or do you say what they need/want to hear? I have found that there are very few people in my life I can truly count on to tell me the honest to gosh truth. I still love and cherish those that don't, or that I know are deep down saying or doing what they do with good intentions or a good heart, even if I know they are lying. But, I would be lying if I said I would rather not know the truth. I feel I am one of those people that would rather know the truth, ugly or not than walk around unaware. I of course am one of those people who sometimes says what I think the person needs to hear. Don't we all? So....I guess I have a new challenge for myself, let's see how brave I am or where my heart is when I am faced with a question I don't want to answer honestly.

I find it easier to tell strangers while I am driving the truth. Like what an idiot I think they are...or to tell my co-worker Kelly what a jerk the person I just talked to on the phone was. But, I guess those don't count, huh?

I challenge you (even if it is just with me) to tell the truth to someone when they ask, no matter what. Truly think about what you are about to say or how you are about to answer a question and decide - are you saying what you are saying for their benefit, are you answering their question the way you would want them to answer yours, are you treating them the way you want to be treated?? Afterall, if you are really that good of friends shouldn't you be able to?

Here is my happy high of the week...I recently re-connected with a friend from highschool. As age and time and distance changes any relationship, our did change and but now, I am so thankful that through the Lord we have a new sort of connection! I will always love this person because for years they were my other half and there was a bond you just don't forget. Anyway, I found out that she and her hubby after a long, long battle with intfertility are prego! God works in so many ways we will never understand, and I know as humans we want our will for a situation to happen a certain way... and I will never know why He chose now to grow their family but He did, and I am thankful. I am so happy for them and I hope that anyone out there struggling with anything will stay faithful and pray for God's will in their life. He doesn't always answer how we want Him to, but He always answers with what is best for us.

Baby room is coming along....

Well - there is no bedding yet, actually none of the fabrics at all...but it's coming along. Chair should be in soon, hopefully curtains, table skirt and bedding will follow! The room is mainly green/purple and cream and hopefully some fun accents once it all comes together. I am happy with the way its going, but now anytime I see a nursery or fun fabric I think of a ten other ways I could have gone with the baby room. Oh well! I hope she likes it.
Love and Blessings,
Brooke

It's the Holiday's!

I love the Holiday's. Eating is always fun, and if I have a reason to put up decor it just makes me smile. I love Christmas music and luckily my friend Kelly that I work with is obsessed with the Holiday's like I am, so all day long we talk shop and listen to Christmas music. It's bliss. I will say that I pretty much loate the traffic on Penn/Memorial around the mall but other than that, I am ready for all December brings!

I got started on the decorating as soon as Thanksgiving was over (I am one of those people who thinks you should wait till the day after Thanksgiving to put up lights, etc. Thanksgiving is important too, so I like to give it my full attention before the Christmas-craze.) Anyway...I got started and got almost everything up and now I am exhausted. The tree is up, lit, but that's all and well...the poor thing might just stay that way to. Although, I do have awesome ribbon coming from Ballard's so maybe not. :)

I added a baby bump pic (28 1/2 weeks)...I have had a few people ask but it's only a half body shot and it's all I could muster today! Ha.

Happy Holidays, may you have a happy and cheerful December!

Blessings and Love to you all.
-brooke